November 3, 2024
Want to date a coworker? Here's what you need to know:
Key tips:
Quick comparison of workplace romance stats:
| Stat | Percentage |
|---|---|
| Adults who've had office romances | 60% |
| Employees OK with coworker relationships | 75% |
| Office affairs involving cheating | 40% |
| Workers who say it hurt their career | 18% |
Bottom line: Office romances happen, but tread carefully. This guide covers how to navigate workplace relationships while protecting your career.
Office romances happen. But they need careful handling. Here's how to navigate them:
First, read your employee handbook. Many companies have policies on workplace dating. Some might require you to tell HR, especially if it's with someone in your chain of command.
At work, act like colleagues. No PDA. Keep personal chats private. It keeps things comfortable for everyone.
If your company says so, let HR know. It can prevent issues with favoritism or conflicts of interest.
"Read the handbook! Everything you need to know about relationships at work should be explained in detail." - Tramelle D. Jones, Career and Resume Coach
Draw a line between work and personal life:
| Work | Personal |
|---|---|
| Work email for business only | Romantic chats on personal devices |
| Professional behavior in office | Date plans after hours |
| Focus on job tasks | Relationship talk outside work |
Here's a real example:
"We're dedicated to the company and we don't want this to affect our careers but we fell in love. What should we do?" - Heather Townsend, on telling HR about her relationship with colleague Alex at a Big Four accounting firm
Their upfront approach worked well. HR helped make sure they wouldn't work on the same projects.
Office romances can be messy. Here's how to avoid the biggest pitfalls:
Keep it professional. No hand-holding, pet names, or googly eyes across the office. Your coworkers shouldn't be able to tell you're an item.
Focus on work during work hours. Avoid:
Dating your boss or subordinate? Bad idea. It can lead to:
Take it from McDonald's. In 2019, they fired their CEO for dating an employee. Later, they sued him for misconduct. Not a happy meal ending.
Don't overshare with coworkers. It can cause:
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Act professional | Use cutesy nicknames |
| Balance work and life | Spend all day together |
| Treat partner like any other coworker | Play favorites |
| Keep personal stuff private | Spill relationship details |
Amy Carlin, an Employment Lawyer, warns:
"Don't chase after someone who breaks up with you. It's one of the biggest issues that can lead to sexual harassment claims - when the heartbroken person won't take no for an answer."
Want to keep your workplace relationship under wraps? Here's how:
Keep your romance OUT of the office. That means:
Dating coach Joann Cohen puts it bluntly:
"Keep your romance 100% outside work hours. People will notice."
Use private channels for personal stuff:
Keep work and personal stuff APART:
Manage your online presence:
Nicole Williams, LinkedIn career expert, warns:
"Make sure you're not constantly giving each other the googly eyes."
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Meet after work | Have office lunch dates |
| Use personal devices | Send love notes via work email |
| Keep work and personal separate | Share relationship details at work |
| Be discreet online | Post couple photos publicly |
If your company has a no-dating policy, you're in a tight spot. Here's what to do:
Get the facts. Check your employee handbook or ask HR for the exact rules. Some companies ban all workplace relationships, others just prohibit manager-subordinate dating.
At Walmart, for example, supervisors can't date subordinates, but other coworker relationships are OK if disclosed.
Weigh your options:
| Risks | Benefits |
|---|---|
| Job loss | Potential partner |
| Workplace tension | Shared interests |
| Career setbacks | Work together |
| Legal issues | Understand job demands |
Breaking company policy could get you fired. In most states, that's legal.
You've got two choices:
1. Disclose the relationship
Honest but risky. You might face consequences, but no sneaking around.
2. Keep it private
Keeps your job but adds stress. You'll need to be extra careful at work.
Rosemary Haefner, former Chief HR Officer at CareerBuilder, says:
"Office romance has been around forever and will continue to be."
If you go for it, follow these tips:
Breaking up with a coworker? Ouch. Seeing them every day at the office? Double ouch. Here's how to deal:
Your job? Do it. Personal drama? Leave it at home. Treat your ex like any other coworker:
Need to avoid awkward run-ins? Switch up your routine. Take that coffee break at 10:30 instead of 10:00.
If HR knew you were dating, give them a heads-up about the split. It's not fun, but it helps:
Better to tackle issues head-on than let them fester.
Set some ground rules with your ex to keep things smooth:
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Say "hi" and move on | Get chatty about personal stuff |
| Keep work talks short | Talk about your Tinder matches |
| Give each other space | Start office drama |
Feeling weird? That's normal. As Clinical Psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., puts it:
"First, have realistic expectations... In many situations working together right after a break-up will be awkward and stressful. It's not going to be fun."
Give it time. Focus on crushing your work goals. With a bit of patience and professionalism, you'll get through this and keep your career on track.
Office romances can be a legal minefield. Here's what you need to know:
Be careful not to cross legal lines:
In 2020, sexual harassment made up nearly 10% of all job discrimination claims filed with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Don't be part of that statistic.
Dating your boss or direct report? Think again:
Art Markman, Psychology and Marketing Professor at the University of Texas at Austin, says:
"Having multiple relationships with someone creates potential conflicts of interest that can be hard to resolve."
Keep work and love separate:
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Tell HR about your relationship | Show favoritism to your partner |
| Act professionally at work | Use company resources for personal stuff |
| Keep work talk work-related | Share confidential info with your partner |
Even if your company allows office dating, follow the rules. Check your employee handbook and talk to HR if you're unsure.
Dating a coworker? Here's how to keep your job and relationship on track:
Don't mix business with pleasure:
A 2017 study showed higher workloads led to lower marital satisfaction. Don't let that happen to you.
Keep your life balanced:
Set clear boundaries:
| Do | Don't |
|---|---|
| Have a weekly date night | Talk about work on dates |
| Take separate lunch breaks sometimes | Slack your partner 24/7 |
| Respect each other's work commitments | Expect special treatment at work |
Tramelle D. Jones, Career and Resume Coach, says:
"Get clear about your relationship and make sure you're both on the same page about expectations and boundaries."
Your coworkers aren't part of your relationship. Keep it professional at work to avoid drama and protect your career.
Office romances are tricky. But with some smarts, you can balance work and love. Here's how:
Know the rules: Check if your company allows dating coworkers. 60% of U.S. adults have dated a colleague, but some places ban it.
Keep it pro: No PDA at work. Do your job well. Your coworkers shouldn't even know you're dating.
Be open: If allowed, tell HR. It prevents issues and protects you both.
Set limits: Separate work and personal time:
| At Work | Off the Clock |
|---|---|
| Treat partner like any coworker | Date outside the office |
| Focus on your job | Talk about your relationship |
| Keep it professional | Enjoy personal time |
Plan ahead: 43% of office romances lead to marriage. But if it ends, handle it like a pro.
"Be ready for change! Relationships can shift work dynamics or end suddenly. Navigate these changes professionally." - Tramelle D. Jones, Career and Resume Coach
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